Ask anyone who has loved a pet to tell you about their creature, and you will hear about some of their most precious memories.

Violence and grief are inextricably linked, as are grief and love. Sudden death — no matter the cause — is a violent experience for those left behind. It rips apart the illusion of safety. It destroys the belief that there are guarantees.

Once again, when facing difficult situations and questions, my heart and soul return to the power of community. Building a community of loved ones and leaning on each other for support, and providing mutual care are the way I have sustained my sobriety, survived my divorce, and dealt with excruciating grief.

I still have dreams that catapult me into the cycle of drinking too much: the bleary next day, full of anxiety, shame, and regret. Disorientation steeped in a sinking feeling about the previous night. I wake from these experiences humbled and grateful.

Capitalism tells us that the poor are that way because they deserve it —and that the wealthy are exceptional. And I call bullshit.